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To the Sweetest Man

I will always be grateful for whatever spirit moved me to take the risk and create my profile on match. Your smile drew me in to take a closer look and including the furry smile with Sam did not hurt either. As I glanced at all the words on your profile I judged. It had…

Wanting

This morning I wake with the feeling that I am unsettled. The readiness to stop the flash of constant images. The reminders of material temptations that pop up all around my feed. The pictures of people from the past that would be better suited thrown in a box in the garage. I am not in…

Pieces of me

I did not write much here this year but I have continued to use words ask myself questions and found others words to ponder on. I will add them here as memories. 11/7/21 If you do not heal you will bleed on someone who had nothing to do with it. Did I at some point…

ABORT MISSION TO PROCESS AND RECORD

So it looks as though I stopped recording at some point and question myself. Was there too much happening? Was I lost in operations somewhere? Did I want to run and hide from what just happened? YES, YES & YES! Was I even aware thats what was happening? NO! The lost version of me during…

Wait what? When did I become the bad guy?

During the three weeks of moving in I truly believed that having the kids make a slow transition was best. I would have them stay at my house a couple nights a week, come over for dinner, pick them up then take them to the other house after dinner. The first week I even went…

It was meant to be the final push, the gathering of the rest of our stuff, my stuff, oh whoever stuff it is anymore I don’t know but he and the kids were heading up to see family and I thought it was the best time to do it. It actually had been my original…

His Army

Date: February 19,2021 Dear Friends: A year ago I was running the marathon of life and looking forward with a grateful heart. I was not in a dream; there were no big moments, no dream job, vacations or anything that appeared to be outstanding by the good ole facebook world. What I did have was…

When the dust settled

As the dust settled this past week and the weekend was approaching to what appeared could be a very “normal” one I was super excited. The potential for having the kids with me for a few days with no distractions was exactly what was needed. I picked them up on Friday and brought them over…

When did he jump out of the car?

February 18,2021 4am I get up early each day and feel one step ahead of the world. I have been doing this for most of the time since THE NEWS came. I guess it began as my ability to control something as life spun around me like a tornado. I actually feel like time stopped…

From Head to Heart to Paper

Maybe out of fear of forgetting or finally taking action to record my thoughts, I write. -Me Yes, I googled quotes about journaling to post above and in the end decided on my first thought. I have heard so many reasons to start writing my thoughts and I am excited about practicing it. Maybe someday…