February 18,2021 4am
I get up early each day and feel one step ahead of the world. I have been doing this for most of the time since THE NEWS came. I guess it began as my ability to control something as life spun around me like a tornado. I actually feel like time stopped a bit. First COVID, then THE NEWS and that just slowed it all down a bit more. To tell the truth, I feel like (though it made have been out of control) I chose to have courage and to face this demon that had popped up. I allowed the crazy to spin around me and I walked one slow step at a time in the middle of it all. Yes, sometimes I did venture out in the vortex and would spin around once or twice but each time I returned back to the eye of the storm, asked God to put my feet back on the ground and would return to my cadence of one step at a time forward.
When it came to him, our life, and what I was experiencing I would say it was like driving a car that I had no idea he had jumped out of. He kept getting further and further away from it. I stopped the car, open the door more than a few times. I even reversed the car to let him in, but when I would look over at the passenger seat, it was always empty. I know we were in the same car at one time, he even drove the car for a while.
But when did we start driving separately? Why didn’t I know? Were we supposed to meet up later? Was I that bad of a driver? A lot of questions I guess still remain even though I pretend it is all in the past, I don’t believe in dwelling, grudge holding and stewing. Sometimes probably in avoidance but mostly because it holds me back from seeing the beauty in all situations. I will choose to open the little box now and then to see if I can find the truth but then I put the lid on quickly so not to allow the little wisps of evil escape into the room.
I may not understand right now why he decided to jump from the car and maybe I never will. For now I think it may be best just to ride a one seater bike, with helmet of course.
The Kindness Storm 